Many of us might not be aware of it but the majority of parenting is strongly influenced by gender stereotypes. From birth, till they leave the nest of their parents and become parents of their own children, our kids are exposed to fixed gender norms. This in turn is passed on to the next generation and the cycle goes on. Gender stereotypes cause more harm than good. Society wrongfully enforces set gender norms and this results in gender-based partiality and discrimination.
Children are unable to explore various career prospects and fields of study due to this gender-based discrimination. All of this stems from the nature of parenting that they have undergone and this is especially true in the case of India. Indian parents employ gender-centric parenting, which is mostly in favor of male children. It is time that India joined the global community in the employment of a new and healthy form of parenting: Gender-neutral parenting. So, what exactly is Gender-neutral parenting, and what techniques are used in it? Let’s find out!
What is Gender-neutral parenting?
Gender-neutral parenting refers to a form of parenting that involves allowing children to be exposed to learning and growing without any gender stereotypes and gender-based discrimination. It allows children to explore their gender without any restriction from society and hence develop their own capacities without experiencing obstructions due to parenting.
Gender-neutral parenting is a healthy form of parenting that allows children to decide their likes and opinions, instead of it being spoon-fed or forced upon them. It opens them up to a variety of educational, career, and lifestyle choices. What’s more? It provides them space to develop all the skills required for them to be autonomous and independent. But most important of all, it teaches them from a young age to respect persons of any gender as equals.
This is especially necessary in India where at many times culture, religion and tradition impose gender-based restrictions on children and thus throws the budding citizens back towards stone-age ideologies; impeding the growth, adaptability, and development of the general Indian mindset.
How to raise a grey kid?
Children who are exposed to gender-neutral parenting are referred to as grey kids; who are open to exploring their gender roles and personal identity with a greater degree of freedom. Here are some tips on how to raise a grey kid:
Refrain from gender labeling
Gender stereotypes are abolished the moment you refrain from gender labels in your daily language. For example: Instead of complimenting a female child as: “Sarah is a good girl”; opt for words along the line of: “Sarah is a good kid.” Make use of words such as child and kid instead of calling them out by their gender.
Show and tell
Show your children how the world is influenced by gender stereotypes-driven parenting and how your children are brought up differently from the rest of the kids.
Encourage both boys and girls to play together
Help your child grow to be more casual with their peers of the opposite gender. This teaches them to view all as equals and give them undue respect. This can help them understand each other, how they are similar, how they differ, and how to respect those differences instead of exploiting or abusing them based on them.
Refrain from comparison
Parents should refrain from comparing their children. Each child is unique in his or her own way. Parents should adopt an individual-centric approach to parenting their children.
Toys do not have gender
Another form of gender labeling is the toys that we give our children. It is good to expose your child to various different types of toys and give them room to choose their favorite instead of imposing it on them.
Gender-neutral parenting is a style that all parents can apply at some level and raise more aware kids. When we confine kids to gender norms we are subconsciously teaching them they will not be loved or safe being themselves. Right from the early days of a child’s life parents need to have neutral behavior. From choosing the neutral names, colors of clothes, to avoid toys that are meant for a specific gender. And, I strongly believe that while raising such kids you are definitely pushing back the gender stereotypes but the goal ultimately is to have good skills and traits amongst both the gender of kids.
I shall share few in-depth posts around how gender stereotyping can impact the child in the longer run.
This post is part of #causeachatter by Blogchatter.
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I have been thinking if gender neutral parenting is even possible. This was such an easy to understand write up in that regard. I did not know its called grey parenting.
Along with all the points, difference between “Sarah is a good girl” and “Sarah is a good kid” is the most important thing parent should do. How we frame our sentence, how we use our words and wh message do those convey make s big difference.
It is high time , we need to raise a gender neutral child. This is much needed in our society. We follow equal parenting at our home and avoid comparison. Gender stereotyping is the worst, glad you addressed it
Very beautifully penned down Rakhi,
For me gender-neutral parenting is where children are left to play, socialize and express themselves without any kind of pressure. In India, the concept is quite new but is slowly catching up.
This is new for me I didnt know about Gender-neutral parenting. This is very informative post and helpful too.
I learnt a lot of new terms from this post. I got a new meaning of raising a Grey child and gender neutral parenting. Thank you for sharing it will keep in mind while using them.
The gender you are born with isn’t a “choice.” It’s who you are, at the cellular level. If any kids at a later date, when they are MATURE ENOUGH to make a “decision” ON THEIR OWN, that they MAY be trans, it is THEIR DECISION. Life REALLY isn’t that complicated. Really, it isn’t. Be happy.
Dint know about this term – grey kids. Always good to learn something new. Nice blog.
A very insightful post, These are really good pointers for gender-neutral parenting. This is really necessary to ensure kids grow up into well-balanced individuals.
This is such an important topic to discuss . I just love the whole write up and concept .
Grey parenting is really necessary. Terms like pink is for girls, blue is for boys have been fed in our minds from generations. Need to be stopped.
Wonderful article. I also think that the best way to teach them is through example. Kids learn from what they see so set the right example at home where everyone is doing every work and all are equally respected.
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