What I Learned from my Papa: An Ode to him

Life is a long journey and along the way, we come across many people who leave a strong mark on our hearts and minds. For me, one such person has been my father, he is my mentor, a wise soul whose guidance and wisdom transformed my outlook on life. He is been my pillar of strength forever but he stood like a rock all the more when we lost our mother. He was the one who played both parental roles while he was always hurting from within, missing his better half the most. Instead of grieving and overcoming the grief he channeled his energy for his kids and in this process taught us innumerable things. He sits on that pedestal where we can only imagine God to be. With this blog I want to pay tribute to my papa and the profound impact of my father’s lessons and how they continue to influence my choices, perspectives, and aspirations. The art of listening- As I mentioned above, we lost our mom at a very crucial juncture of our lives. My papa was about to retire from his job of 35-plus years and was dreaming of enjoying his retirement with our mum in their dream home. Most of the time I would pour my heart and eyes out in front of my papa despite knowing he was grieving too. But he would just listen to me and console me and would give strength in his own ways. To date, it’s been 14 years and he continues to listen to everything that I have to say and patiently supports me not just while I remember her but in every aspect of my life. I have learned the art of listening from him and it has helped me in profound ways.

The power of empathy- Yet another remarkable quality learned from my papa is his ability to empathize with people. He is able to put himself in others’ shoes feel the joy and sorrows and offer his support without any judgment. From Papa, I have learned that empathy is not just a virtue, but a very powerful way of creating strong and meaningful connections with people. Building deeper relationships in life and fostering better understanding. Being empathetic truly made people and friends around me open up their hearts as they knew there would be zero judgment and pure love and affection at the end of conversations.

Embracing change- Change was not something that would sit well with me but with time and the nourishment provided by my father I have learned to embrace the change. He has never been fizzled by the things changing around him, be it time, people, environment, or anything else. He would always embrace and adapt to the change and hence life has been easy in many ways for him. Losing his life partner was a huge loss that brought various changes in life but he embraced it even if it ached his heart. My and my siblings’ marriages, and grandchildren’s also brought changes but he embraced each change without worries circling his face. I wouldn’t say I have been able to embrace changes around me completely as to date I get uncomfortable with major changes around me. But, taking one step at a time and evolving each day.

Embracing Vulnerability- Society expects men to be strong and not show how vulnerable they are. I am sure the world expected the same from my papa when he lost our mom. For him to not show what he has lost, to not cry, to not be weak, to not speak about her, to not miss her so much that it ached him. But my papa showed me the beauty and strength in vulnerability. He shared his own struggles, fears, and doubts, proving that it’s okay to be not okay. Through this, I learned that acknowledging our vulnerabilities allows us to connect on a deeper level with ourselves and others.

The Pursuit of Lifelong Learning- Today when he is almost 75 years old, he still tries to learn something every day. From using a very basic black box as a phone to now adopting the digital revolution with smartphones, smartwatches, wearing sneakers, sweatshirts, and more. He has learned to walk with time and improvise every day. While his eyes ache while reading to date his urge to learn something new has not gone and he constantly learns. Cooking is one of his passions, he still tries to invent and reinvent new recipes by looking at YouTube and gladly presents it to his family to try. With this and more he instilled in me the belief that learning is a lifelong endeavor, one that should be pursued with passion and curiosity. This lesson has fueled my own quest for knowledge and has been instrumental in my personal and professional growth.

Resilience in the Face of Adversity

Life is replete with challenges, and Papa faced his fair share. Yet, he approached every obstacle with a steadfast determination and an unwavering belief in the power of resilience. Through his example, I learned that setbacks are not roadblocks, but opportunities for growth and transformation.

Finding Joy in Simple Pleasures

In a world fixated on material success and grand achievements, papa reveled in life’s simple pleasures. He found joy in a good book, a stroll in the park, cooking to his heart’s content, cleaning the house, playing with his grandchildren, or a heartfelt conversation. This lesson reminded me that true happiness lies not in possessions, but in appreciating the beauty and wonder that surround us every day.

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The Importance of Gratitude

Gratitude, papa would often say, is the cornerstone of a fulfilling life. He practiced gratitude daily, taking the time to acknowledge and appreciate the blessings, no matter how small. Despite the hardships faced by him in the last 14 years of losing Mumma not even a single day passes when he doesn’t express his gratitude for what he has got. The life we created after her passing away is not perfect and not what we had imagined but he is thankful and proudly tells me daily “Beta Ishwar ko Dhanyawad do jo bhi kuch tumhare pass hai aaj” Through his teachings, I discovered that expressing gratitude fosters a positive mindset and cultivates a sense of abundance, even in the face of challenges.

The Impact of Generosity

Papa is a supremely generous soul, always willing to lend a helping hand or offer words of encouragement. He showed me that true wealth lies not in what we accumulate, but in what we give. Two generations after me and my siblings also sought advice from my papa. The way he matches the wavelength of the person he is speaking with tells a lot about his willingness to support others. His acts of kindness inspired me to cultivate a spirit of generosity and to recognize the profound impact it can have on the lives of others.

The lessons I learned from Papa continue to guide me on my journey through life every day. His wisdom, kindness, and unwavering belief in the goodness of humanity have left an indelible mark on my soul. Through him, I discovered the transformative power of empathy, active listening, vulnerability, lifelong learning, resilience, appreciation of simple pleasures, gratitude, and generosity. These lessons have enriched my life and continue to shape the person I aspire to be. As I reflect on the time, I spend with him during our visits or on phone calls when I talk to him daily, I am filled with gratitude for the profound impact he has had on my life, and I carry his teachings with me as a cherished legacy.

This post is a part of Truly Yours Holistic Emotions Blog Hop by Rakhi Jayashankar and Roma Gupta Sinha’.